As Our Children Exceed Us – Sunday, November 13, 1955
On this question again of the point at which a person’s character is safely set A man may, in his youth, from his parents, receive strict teaching and training and be schooled in solid standards and basic qualities of character. But as he grows older and takes his own independent place, he may, under some circumstances, foolishly and unfortunately forget for the moment the teachings of his youth and break away a bit from the things that have made him the man he is.
These departures from principle certainly hurt him somewhat, but so sure and solid has been his teaching and training that he knows the truth, down deep; and even though he says some things he shouldn’t say, and does some things he shouldn’t do, he himself may not go too far to get back; he himself never quite lets loose.
But his children, his daughter, his son, who haven’t been so solidly taught, whose characters haven’t been so solidly set, who don’t have the same background their father has, follow their father’s example, but without the same basic restraints. In short, the son frequently follows the father, but goes farther.
As a matter of safety—and as a matter of reality—we should always take into account the fact that our children are likely to exceed us—to go farther than we go— in any direction. As a physical fact, they are likely to grow taller than we are—and to exceed us in other ways also.
If we are unkind, they may be unkinder. If we express mild disloyalties, they may become affected with flagrant disloyalties. If we become a bit critical or careless, they may take license from us to become more critical or careless.
A man, a father (and it is true of a mother also) can drive his family far down the wrong road with just a little wrong lead— which he later regrets and repents of perhaps and pulls himself back. But he may find that he has lost his family—that in following his lead (but also in exceeding it) they have gone too far to be pulled back. True, it doesn’t always work this way, but it is never safe to assume that it won’t work this way.
The only way of safety in rearing a family, in teaching children, is to be what we should be, to act as we should act, to speak as we should speak, genuinely, honestly, and without duplicity or hypocrisy—cause they will catch our spirit from us and will likely exceed us in the manifestation of it.
At least, this is the risk we take: that if our lead is wrong, they will exceed us in wrong ways. But if our lead is right, at least we have a right to hope that they will exceed us in right ways.
November 13, 1955
Broadcast Number 1,369