A Couse of Happiness – February 04, 2001
Happiness is a skill that comes (at least in part) from finding contentment with what we have. Henry David Thoreau believed that his “greatest skill [was] to want but little.”1 He learned to tame his desires so well that he came to want only that which was essential to joyful living.
In this age of consumption and disposability, his message is timely. We buy and discard. We use something once—or not at all—store it away, and eventually replace it with something else. Because we can never get enough of what we don’t need, we may find ourselves ever searching for the pot of gold but never stopping to look at the rainbow.
Such discontent can also affect our personal lives. William Doherty writes about what he calls the “consumer marriage”in our society. He explains that “consumer culture teaches us . . . not to be loyal to anything or anyone that does not continue to meet our needs at the right price.”2 Just as we would discard one product for a new or better one, he suggests that the mind-set of consumerism has made its way into marriage and family relationships. Yet, broken homes cannot so easily be replaced—or even repaired.
Whether with people or things, real happiness is more often the result of nurturing and caring, learning and growing over time—not throwing it all away when challenges arise.
Early in their marriage, a husband and wife determined a course of happiness. They decided that instead of expecting the other person to meet their needs, each would focus on what he or she could do to be less demanding. Then a kind word, a loving touch, a thoughtful remembrance became a heartfelt gift rather than an expectation or duty. Because both had learned to “want but little,” their constant fidelity and daily gestures of gentleness and forgiveness were all the more fulfilling.
We find contentment when we prize simple gifts of lasting value. We learn to “want but little” when we seek that which is timeless that cannot be bought or sold—that which brings true happiness.
Program #3729
1. See Walden (New York: Penguin Books, 1983), 113.
2. “Marriage and Families,” (Provo: School of Family Life at Brigham Young University, Aug. 2000), 19.