A False Escape – Sunday, November 07, 1982
Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions we make in life. It is a union of minds as well as hearts, with far-reaching impact.
Yet for many, happiness in marriage is fragile and fleeting. Divorce provides a quick and slick escape route. It has become a way of life. It seems no one is immune. And what is worse, it seems divorce is contagious.
A good marriage is built upon a foundation of compatibility, but the building material is adaptability. The causes of unhappy marriage and divorce often can be boiled down to one word—selfishness. If each partner is in it only for his or her own benefit, it is bound to fail. If both are concerned about the happiness of the other, it is bound to succeed. But it does take a commitment from both.
Divorce is usually a cop-out, a false escape. It begs the question of personal responsibility. It encourages the individuals to take the same problems to a new setting. Two law partners specializing in marital problems and divorce with 30 years of combined experience, are convinced that, on the whole, divorce is a mistake—that divorce is wrong in 90 percent of the cases they’ve seen. The exceptions—the 10 percent—involved cases of extreme cruelty, alcoholism, and perverse behavior. But they are a tiny minority.
Determination, loyalty and commitment are the “glue” that holds couples together when they’ve lost their direction. With that “glue” and the Lord’s help, marriages do succeed.
“Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart,” commanded the Lord, “and shall cleave unto none else.”1 The Apostle Paul said, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it.”2 “And unto the married I command…Let not the wife depart from her husband…and let not the husband put away his wife.”3
Marriage is a series of compromises. We have to give and take, refrain and restrain, endure and be patient. We must focus on what’s right with our lives, not what’s wrong. We must build on the positive, not the negative. And marriage can be continually strengthened with words of love and support.
Marriage is the most vital of all decisions we make in life. That is as it should be, because it is ordained of God.
1 Doctrine and Covenants, Section 42:22
2 New Testament, Ephesians 5:25
3 New Testament, I Corinthians 7:10-11
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November 07, 1982
Broadcast Number 2,777