Effort, Not Outcome – January 26, 2003
One of the biggest surprises in parenting is how varied the results can be. No other field of endeavor is as hard to predict. Most parents relish the opportunity to have children to teach and guide, to nurture to adulthood. But despite their best efforts, some parents find their children departing from the values and lessons they learned at home. And nothing pierces parents’ hearts quite so deeply as watching their child make serious mistakes. Along with that sorrow often comes misplaced blame. Many parents wonder if the fault is theirs—if perhaps they could have prevented the heartache somehow.
Parents look back over the years and find occasions when they could have done more. They wonder if they were strict enough. They wonder if they were too strict. Even minutes of silence become question marks—could those have been teaching moments? No mother or father can look back at a flawless job and honestly say they’ve never made one mistake. But we become mired in despair if we blame ourselves for every sin of our children. We only look back in anguish, instead of looking forward with faith.
The word stewardship is a good one to remember. It reminds us that our success is not measured by our children’s choices, but simply by our own effort in doing God’s will. In the realm of parenting, we cannot use the outcome-based evaluation we use in other projects. The element of control is missing, and individuals have the freedom to choose for themselves.
Noah was successful because he tried so hard, not because everyone followed his teachings and repented. Quite the reverse—most of his words fell upon deaf ears. And yet the Lord was pleased with Noah and blessed him.
With renewed hope and reassurance that the Lord is pleased with our efforts, we can go forward. We can learn not to judge ourselves by our children’s final outcome, but instead to put our faith in God—to truly bring our burdens to Him. When we take the Lord at His word and let Him lift our sorrows, we find that His hand is there for us, and our best effort—not the control of others—is all He asks.
Program #3832