Listening with Love – January 05, 2003
Marie, the mother of seven-year-old Sara, had been learning the value of listening without interrupting with solutions of reprimands. The opportunity to user her newfound communications skills came when her little girl ran into the house from school in tears. “What’s the matter, Sara?” she asked. Sara was so upset she could hardly talk. Through her sobs she explained that her friends wouldn’t play with her anymore. She said they had formed a club and had excluded her.
Like most parents, Marie went immediately into the fix-it mode and was about to say, “You don’t need friends like that, Honey. You need to find some nice girls to play with.” But then she remembered what she had learned: validate her feelings and just listen. So she looked at her little daughter tenderly and said, “That would hurt.” Sara replied that indeed it did hurt, and then, through her tears, she told all of the hurtful things that had happened.
Marie listened intently without giving any instructions. Then she courageously asked, “What are you going to do?” Sara’s answer amazed her. She said that she knew what to do. She would invite these girls over to her house to play – one girl at a time – and they would see what a nice friend she could be and would want her to be in their club. Marie was stunned at the wisdom of her little girl.
As parents, we often think that we are the only ones with the smart solution. In Proverbs it is written, “If thou be wise,…be wise for thyself.” Listening and then allowing a person to come up with his or her own solutions shows great trust and respect. Inside of each of us lie the answers to many of our problems. We just need someone to listen to us. Isn’t that how our loving Father in Heaven often works? Through our prayers we pour our hearts to Him, and He listens. Then, with comforting assurance, He trusts us to discover our own best solutions.² Just knowing that someone is there, caring and listening, makes all the difference – whatever our age may be.
Program #3829
- Proverbs 9:12
- See Doctrine and Covenants 9:8.