Ever ask a married couple, how they keep love alive in their marriage? Well, they’ll probably tell you that the honeymoon always ends. Daily life together, with its stresses and problems, tends to crowd out the bloom of romance in even the best of relationships. But we all know that love, real love, never dies.
Noted psychiatrist and writer M. Scott Peck has said that, “Of all the misconceptions about love the most powerful and pervasive is the belief that ‘falling in love’ is love.”1 Actually, falling in love requires minimal effort and very little willpower, whereas being in love involves much work and a steadfast commitment to the comfort and well-being of one’s companion. He also says that “love is an act of will—namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.”2
Real love enlarges the soul. It helps us to bite our tongue when it would be easy to say something hurtful. It gives us an understanding heart that is filled with compassion for another. It enables us to be more patient with others’ imperfections and recognize our own. And it means that we stay loyal and true when it would be easy or enticing to find someone else to love. The miracle of real love is that those who choose to love blossom under the sunshine of trust and appreciation and they even become more lovable.
Whenever we make a choice for lasting love, we grow. Our hearts, they expand in kindness; our minds are more open to another’s point of view. Our vision of the future is hopeful and we continue to nurture our relationship over the long haul, through the ups and downs of life.
Yes, honeymoons come to an end, but the life and the love of a relationship can continue to grow—even flourish—“like a red, red rose that’s newly sprung in June”3 when we love and choose to stay in love.
Program #3938
1. The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth (1978), 84.
2. The Road Less Traveled, 83.
3. Robert Burns, “A Red, Red Rose” (1794).