Some Factors of Friendship – Sunday, August 11, 1957
We have in mind ‘today one of the most beautiful relationships in life, and one of the most difficult to define. Aside from loved ones, aside from close of kin, friendship makes life most meaningful.
With friendship nothing is impersonal. Everything is more enjoyed; Everything has greater purpose. Everything is better understood. It is something to be nourished and cherished; something that cannot be forced; something that must grow naturally; and something that must not be abused.
And this brings us to the basis of what Cicero said: as to the fact that real “friendship can only exist between good men.” “We mean … by the ‘good'”1, he said, “those whose actions and lives leave no question as to their honor, purity, equity, and liberality; who are free from greed, lust, and violence; and who have the courage of their convictions. Often the question arises as to what one should do, or should not do, for a friend.
Should one violate a law or a moral code of conduct in the name of friendship? Should one falsify or commit an illegal or unworthy act for a friend?
In answer, it is significant that Cicero should have concluded many centuries ago what we must conclude today: “…that the plea of having acted in the interests of a friend is not a valid excuse for a wrong action. For (since) a belief in a man’s virtue is the original cause of friendship, friendship, can hardly remain if virtue be abandoned. …Stability in friendship … can be secured … when…men who are united by affection learn, first of all, to rule those passions which enslave others, and…to take delight in fair and equitable conduct, to bear each other’s burdens, (and) never to ask each other for anything inconsistent with virtue and rectitude, and not only to serve and love but also to respect each other, I say ‘respect’; for if respect is gone, friendship has lost its brightest jewel…..In fact, if virtue be neglected, those who imagine themselves to possess friends will find out their error as soon as some grave disaster forces them to make trial of them…(For,) nature has given us friendship as the handmaid of virtue, not as a partner in guilt…. Let this then, be laid down as the first law of’ friendship, that we should ask from friends, and do for friends, only what is good …. (and) neither ask nor consent to do what is wrong …. Without friendship (there is no fullness of) life, … for if we lose affection and kindness from our life we lose all that gives it charm.”1
1Selected and arranged from essay On Friendship by Marcus Tullius Cicero.
August 11, 1957
Broadcast Number 1,460