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Successful New York Times columnist David Brooks once visited a group of 30 tutors, many of them elderly women, who taught English to immigrants. He was surprised by what he saw in these volunteers’ faces. “They just radiated a generosity of spirit,” he said. “They radiated a patience and most of all they radiated gratitude for life.” He thought to himself: “I’ve achieved career success in life, but I haven’t achieved that. What they have is that inner light that I do not have.”
When asked who has made a real difference in our lives, we often think of a teacher. No matter how many years pass, we never forget the person who first opened our eyes to the wonders of science, art, or good books. In fact, we learn very few—if any—of life’s valuable lessons on our own. We all need caring, experienced mentors to guide us through our learning experiences.
A family with teenage children has a cherished tradition that has served them for generations. Each time one of the children leaves home for a date or an activity with friends, the father always says, “Remember who you are and what you represent.” The teenagers have grown to expect this gentle reminder. It’s the same reminder their father heard his parents say to him a generation earlier.
Nobody seeks out suffering. And yet it is one of life’s great ironies that the moments that make us feel weakest often reveal our hidden strengths. We don’t really know what we can endure until we are forced to endure it. Yale University professor Steven Southwick believes that “most of us are a lot more resilient than we think.”1 He compares us to a green tree branch—it may not seem as strong as a more mature, rigid limb. But in a strong wind it’s the green branch that survives, bending but never breaking.
The year was 1918, the close of World War I. An American Red Cross nurse wrote a letter to the mother of a soldier who had died shortly after the armistice was signed. He had made it through the terrors of war without injury and then, sadly, succumbed in the hospital to pneumonia. Wanting the mother to have more than a brief message from the military about her son’s death, the nurse wrote of what she called the “little things that mean so much to a mother far away from her boy.”
If there is one common thread that runs through most of the world’s problems, it’s anger. Violence, abuse, and hatred all grow when fueled by anger’s empty fumes. We’ve all seen how anger damages relationships and destroys love and trust. What’s more, medical researchers have recently found that anger can lead to sleeping problems, excess eating, and long-term heart damage.1 No, nothing good comes from anger.
Even though most of us realize that true happiness does not come from the things we accumulate, for some reason we still end up accumulating a lot of things. Sometimes our homes and closets and lives are filled with so much clutter, so much stuff, that we feel overwhelmed, even burdened by it all. There’s so much to take care of, to worry about, to dust and clean, that the clutter seems to smother the joy out of life.
Pottery is among mankind’s oldest and most enduring crafts. The process itself feels like a work of art, as the expert potter carefully, patiently shapes a lump of clay into a beautiful, useful vessel. While finishing the work takes time and patient effort, the result is clearly worth it. It’s no wonder that pottery making is often used as a metaphor for how our lives are gently molded by the patient hand of God.
At the end of a long day of school and work, a busy college student was asked about his exhausting day. Instead of mentioning his difficult chemistry class or his burdensome homework assignment, he talked about the beautiful sunset he saw on his way home. The highlight of his day was a moment of awe.
It’s been said that God rewrites the book of Genesis every spring.1 “In the beginning” takes on special meaning each year as we witness the renewed life, the rebirth, and the new beginnings that seem to be built in to earth’s cycle of seasons. It’s as if nature itself is trying to tell us that whatever we are going through, things can change—things can get better.
A woman who loved soufflé decided to make some for her family for a special occasion. But she became nervous when she read the recipe for the light, fluffy cake. Soufflé is not easy to make, and it has to be served quickly to keep it from falling. So as the years, holidays, and birthdays went by, she continued to save the recipe, not quite ready to attempt it.
Only those who are willing to risk heartbreak and disappointment will ever know what it means to truly love.
As C. S. Lewis put it: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping [your heart] intact, you must give [it] to no one, not even to an animal.
One of Mark Twain’s stories tells of an artist, George Sterling, who finds most of humanity—other than himself—rather uninteresting. Self-absorbed in his own career and interests, he takes little notice of the people around him.
At the start of a new semester, the president of a large university advised his students: “We will all fail. More than once. Every day.” Not exactly the inspiring pep talk they may have expected. But then he added: “My plea for you today is to learn how to fail successfully.”1
Few things release the feelings of the heart like singing does. It brings deep emotions to the surface that we might otherwise struggle to express. When we sing, we reveal what’s in our soul, and this honesty of heart connects us with others despite barriers of time, place, and culture.
In 1753 the British government, with its heavy hand on the American colonies, put Benjamin Franklin in charge of the colonial postal system north of Maryland. Postage prices were assessed by the mile in those days, and Franklin’s fellow colonists were suspicious that the British were overcharging.
We live in a time of great division. Advances in technology have, in many ways, made our world smaller, but instead of coming together, we seem at times to be growing farther apart. Many of us wish for a way to bridge the cultural divides around us. We see people of other faiths or other nationalities, and we wonder how we might befriend those who seem so different from us.
If you knew that this was your last day on earth—that tomorrow your life would end—what would you do today? Most people would probably not try to squeeze in one more day at the office or one last television program. More than likely, you would spend most of the day trying to reach the people who are dear to you, simply to say, one last time, “I love you.”
No one ever does everything perfectly right all the time. Each of us makes mistakes and falls short of perfection. That’s life, and that’s OK.
Broadway musical star Idina Menzel shared how she came to this realization. Recently, she wrote: “There are about 3 million notes in a two-and-a-half-hour musical; being a perfectionist, it took me a long time to realize that if I’m hitting 75 percent of them, I’m succeeding. . . . I am more than the notes I hit, and that’s how I try to approach my life. You can’t get it all right all the time, but you can try your best. If you’ve done that, all that’s left is to accept your shortcomings and have the courage to try to overcome them.”1
Feeling genuinely happy for another person’s good fortune may be one of the truest marks of authentic goodness and real friendship. Surprisingly, it sometimes seems easier to find someone who will weep with us during our hard times than to find someone who will rejoice with us in our successes. Most people are compassionate and caring toward those who suffer, but a special quality manifests itself in those who are genuinely happy for the good fortune of others
In many ways, life gets better with age—sometimes surprisingly so. The common belief is that a person’s overall sense of well-being goes downhill as he or she gets older, but researchers are finding—and many older people themselves are discovering—that this is not necessarily the case.
Always there have been struggles—for individuals and for groups. But for each struggle, there are always men and women who rise above the ugly and the combative and make the world a better place—people whose greatness seems a perfect match for the challenge of the day.
Every magician knows that the secret to any magic trick—from pulling a rabbit out of a hat to making a coin disappear—is really quite simple: distraction. All the magician has to do is focus our attention on something that seems important but is really unrelated—the waving of a wand or a flurry of fingers. Meanwhile, the trick is taking place on the side, and we don’t even notice it.
As another new year rolled around, a middle-aged man sat quietly in his favorite chair. His wife noticed him staring ahead with a thoughtful look on his face and said, “Jim, you look troubled. Is there something on your mind?”
“Yes,” he replied. “Here we are at the beginning of another year, and it doesn’t look like it will be any different from the last one—or the one before that. It makes me wonder how much meaning my life really has. I feel like I work hard every day, but what’s the real purpose of it all?”
Benjamin Franklin is known for many things; he was a founding father, statesman, scientist, philosopher, author, entrepreneur, inventor, and businessman. But as great as his achievements are, he was aware of his own failings and tirelessly sought to improve them. He wrote, “I was surpris’d to find myself so much fuller of faults than I had imagined; but I had the satisfaction of seeing them diminish.”1
During this joyful season, we reflect upon the greatest story ever told. It is not a long story, comprising only a chapter or two of scriptures, but it is so rich with meaning that with each reading we can find a new pearl of truth, a new insight that endears the story to us even more.
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.
And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.
And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem…
What is it that makes this such a magical time of year? Undoubtedly, part of the reason is the eager smiles and happy anticipation of the children around us. The air seems to tingle with their joy and excitement. Yet, as we age, we sometimes lose that innocent, joyous outlook.
Love, family, and faith make Christmas meaningful. Store-bought stuff may fill stockings and surround trees, but it doesn’t fill our hearts with joy and contentment for long. During the holiday season, the more we chase after merchandise, the further we get from the true spirit of the holiday.
A time to give thanks for life’s bounties and blessings deserves a place on our calendars and in our hearts. Despite problems personal and global—or perhaps because of them—taking time to count our blessings is good for the soul.